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Don't Accept Criticism Without Evaluating the Source

Evaluate the source of criticism

When I studied karate katas (elaborate forms demonstrating techniques) I learned the value of criticism. The more my instructor seemed to nitpick on everything I did, the better I became and the more tournaments I won. The reason for this is I realized he could only focus on minor details if I was learning the katas well generally. Otherwise, his focus would be on more major mistakes. I came to value his criticism. However, I noticed others could easily become discouraged with the same type of instruction.

Criticism can be devastating for many people. Even constructive criticism causes them to lose self-esteem and self-confidence. I think one of the main reasons for this is they accept all criticism without evaluating it. So, instead of picking and choosing which criticism is worthwhile, they accept all criticism which leads to criticism overload. At that point, they don't hear the nuggets of helpful advice. Instead, all they hear is the fact they are receiving criticism. The result is repeated blows to the sense of self creating feelings of failure, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

How can criticism overload be avoided? Read more...

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    Healthline Best Apps Depression 2017
    Five years in a row Depression CBT Self-Help Guide has been selected by Healthline as one of the Best Apps for Depression.

    Depression CBT Self-Help Guide was designed by Dr. Monica Frank based upon 30 years of experience as a cognitive-behavioral therapist treating depression and anxiety. The app provides many of the cognitive-behavioral methods that she used with clients -- in an easier to use format than paper-and-pencil!

    One of the central features of the app is the Cognitive Diary in which a person can record events that caused distress, evaluate their emotions and self-talk, and choose statements to help challenge the self-talk. This is a core feature of CBT and can be most helpful when shared with a therapist. Read more...

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  • 50 RULES OF LIFE
    Rule 20: Be Responsible to Yourself

    Rule 20: Be Responsible to Yourself

    So many people, especially those with perfectionistic tendencies, feel a responsibility to others while ignoring their own needs.

    Certain types of perfectionistic behavior appear on the surface to be beneficial and are considered by the perfectionistic person to be an essential aspect of their personality. Even when they accept that the perfectionistic traits cause them stress, anxiety and/or depression, they are still unwilling to make the cognitive and behavioral change.

    Many of my perfectionistic clients argued with me about changing their perfectionistic tendencies especially when it involved desirable character traits. I think my rejoinder to their claim regarding the value of perfectionism usually convinced them.

    The problem with their argument is thinking in all-or-nothing terms: “But I SHOULD be responsible and reliable!” To them, the opposite of being perfectly responsible is being irresponsible. Read more...

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  • September 10, 2018

    New article! “Are You Depressed?”: Understanding Diagnosis and Treatment

    Are You Depressed?

    When Gina told her doctor she was feeling depressed, he gave her a screening test that asked about her symptoms: little interest in doing things, feeling depressed or hopeless, sleep problems, lack of energy, poor appetite or overeating, feelings of failure, problems concentrating, restlessness or slow movements, and thoughts of self-harm. Other than suicidal thoughts, Gina endorsed all of the symptoms and scored high on the test. Her doctor immediately prescribed an anti-depressant.

    What is wrong with this scenario?

    1) No follow-up questions. A screening test doesn't determine whether someone is depressed or not. The purpose of the test is to determine the possibility of depression. If a person scores high on the test, it is crucial for the doctor to ask follow-up questions and to possibly do other medical tests because a person can have all of these symptoms and not have depression. In fact, as discussed below, there are conditions (called rule-out criteria) that exist indicating a different type of problem could be causing the symptoms. These need to be determined prior to diagnosis. Read more...

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    Bouncing Ball Mindfulness

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    Yogic Breath Training

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    Social Anxiety Assistance

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    Risk and Planning for Success

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    Progressive Muscle Relaxation

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    Day On the Farm Mindfulness

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    Day of Fishing Mindfulness

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    Sport Motivation

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    Intensity Training

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    Mindful Breathing

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    Progressive Muscle Relaxation

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    Progressive Muscle Relaxation with music

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    Excessive Responsibility and OCD

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    Probability and OCD

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    OCD Intrusive Thoughts Reassurance

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    OCD Hoarding Assistance Audio: What Is Your Life Worth?

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    Magical Thinking and OCD

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    Understanding Mindfulness: Step 1--Basic Mindfulness Practice

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    Understanding Mindfulness: Step 2--The Mindful Experience of Discomfort

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    Understanding Mindfulness: Step 3--Mindfulness and Unpleasant Emotions

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    Understanding Mindfulness: Step 4--Mindfulness and Cognitive Restructuring

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    Understanding Mindfulness: Step 5--Mindfulness and Grief

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    Eating a Piece of Fruit Mindfulness Exercise

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    Eating a Piece of Chocolate Mindfulness Exercise

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    Doing the Dishes Mindfulness Exercise

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    Eating a Crunchy Vegetable Mindfulness Exercise

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    Sitting Mindfulness Exercise

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    An Itch Mindfulness Exercise

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    Stretching Mindfulness Exercise

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    Walking Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling the Air Mindfulness Exercise

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    Engaged in Conversation Mindfulness Exercise

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    Reading a Book Mindfulness Exercise

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    Closing Your Eyes Mindfulness Exercise

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    Listening Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Heat Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Cold Mindfulness Exercise

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    Doing an Unpleasant Chore Mindfulness Exercise

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    Touching a Door Knob Mindfulness Exercise

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    Getting Dressed Mindfulness Exercise

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    Experiencing Rain Mindfulness Exercise

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    Experiencing a Neutral Object Mindfulness Exercise

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    Digging in the Garden Mindfulness Exercise

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    Walking Up Stairs Mindfulness Exercise

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    Lifting Weights Mindfulness Exercise

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    Lying Down Mindfulness Exercise

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    Drifting to Sleep Mindfulness Exercise

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    Exercise to Exhaustion Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Bored Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Excitement Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Loneliness Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Disappointment Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Embarrassed Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Frustrated Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Sadness Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Helpless Mindfulness Exercise

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    Feeling Remorse Mindfulness Exercise

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    Energizing the Body and the Mind

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    Wake Up Mindfulness

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    Mindful Breathing

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    Muscle Scan

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    Tense and Release

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    Stretching

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    Risk and Planning for Success

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    Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

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    Become a fan on Facebook! Follow on twitter for site updates! Follow on Google+ for site updates!
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    Become a fan on Facebook! Follow on twitter for site updates! Follow on Google+ for site updates!
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    Social Anxiety Assistance

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    Panic Assistance

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    Mindful Grounding for Anxiety/Trauma

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    Learning to Tolerate Anxiety

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    Panic While Driving Education

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    Panic Assistance While Driving

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    Stress Education

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    Rational Thinking

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    The Worry Box

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    Contents

    Become a fan on Facebook! Follow on twitter for site updates! Follow on Google+ for site updates!
    Excel At Life logo

    Contents

    Become a fan on Facebook! Follow on twitter for site updates! Follow on Google+ for site updates!