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Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Happiness is An Attitude

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?

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Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

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PsychNotes Index

More PsychNotes: Mindfulness and Relaxation Methods

The Difference Between Mindful Focus and a Mindful Attitude
by Monica A. Frank, PhD

In some ways, it is unfortunate that mindfulness is becoming more mainstream because it means that the term (if not the concept) is being co-opted and used in ways that are not necessarily an accurate reflection of mindfulness. For instance, someone just pointed out to me that the military is using mindfulness training to improve the effectiveness of their soldiers. In other words, potentially help soldiers be better at killing (although a case could be made that it makes them better at problem resolution—one resolution which may be killing).

In any case, I would not call this training “mindfulness.” Instead, it is teaching the soldiers to be mindfully focused similar to an athlete being “in the zone” or “in the flow" (although perhaps some of those soldiers will move on to developing a more mindful attitude). The techniques that are used in this training may come from the mindfulness practices, but it is not true mindfulness. Mindful focus does not have the ability to bring peace to the world because it only uses one aspect of mindfulness. Which is why I refer to developing “the mindful attitude.”

The mindful attitude consists of several aspects:

1) Mindful practice. Routine practice of meditation and other mindfulness training methods allows the person to become more skilled at mindful focus. However, practice alone may not be enough to develop a mindful attitude.

2) Transfer to daily life. In addition, to create a mindful attitude it is necessary to transfer the focus obtained from the practice to daily life. In my mind, meditation is simple compared to this transfer. It means learning to have a mindful focus even when things are chaotic and you are not at peace.

3) Tolerance of discomfort. The development of a mindful attitude allows a person to tolerate both physical and emotional discomfort. Such a tolerance means the individual does not have to rid him or herself of pain and suffering. By doing so, however, pain and suffering is often diminished because it is the desire to eliminate it that increases the intensity of it.

4) Acceptance of the self. When someone develops a truly mindful attitude, they see themselves fully as a human being with strengths and weaknesses but do not need to judge themselves. Through such an acceptance they are more able to focus on self-improvement because it is easier to make changes when it is not a demand.

5) Loving-kindness and compassion. When a person can fully accept him or herself, that person can then transfer those feelings to others, even to the entire world. The more that loving-kindness and compassion towards others increases, the more that violence has the potential of decreasing.

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More PsychNotes
Mindfulness and Relaxation Methods
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The Benefits of Mindfully Washing Dishes
The Difference Between Mindful Focus and a Mindful Attitude
Mindfulness Training Shows Promise for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Mindfulness and Managing Chronic Pain
How We Might Stop Bullying: Kindness Curriculum for Preschoolers
Practicing Loving-Kindness May Elicit Resentments
How Mindfulness Can Reduce Risk for Alzheimer's and Heart Disease
Mindful Attention to Unhealthy Foods Improves Food Choices
Want an Easy and Uplifting Health Practice? Laughing Qigong
Mindful Dating: How Does Mindfulness Affect Satisfaction in Relationships?
10 Everyday Frustrations and a Mindful Attitude
What is the Difference Between Mindful Acceptance and Emotional Suppression?
Mindful Attention Reduces Anger for Those With Borderline Personality Disorder
The Paradox of the Mindful Attitude
The Key to Mindful Breathing for Sleep
Addiction to Emotions and Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness Practice is Not Focusing, It is Re-Focusing
How Much Should You Practice Mindfulness?
For Fun--Try Being Mindful About the Weather
What Could Be More Mindful Than a Cat Watching Bird Videos?
Wisdom Doesn't Come In Sound Bites
Qigong Can Reduce Depression
Demands vs. Mindfulness for Enhancing Performance
Acceptance as the Basis for Wisdom?
“I want to feel good NOW!”
The 20-Minute a Day Miracle
Be the Best You Can Be: On Mindfulness and Performance
Being Mindful of Emotions Decreases Intensity
Massage: Effects on Anxiety, Depression, and Pain
Mindfulness and Flow in the Workplace
Mindfulness May Prevent Relapse
Is Mindfulness-Based Therapy Effective?
Qi Gong Exercise Shown to Improve Mood
Mindfulness Skills Can Improve Relationships