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Frequently, people who worry believe worry has a necessary purpose. However, most worry can be traced to fear of possible future losses. The person becomes anxious as they focus on the imagined loss almost as if it were occurring: “What if this medical test shows a serious health condition? What if my spouse dies? How will I survive? Will I lose my home because I can't afford it on my income alone?” Such worry only causes distress as the person is not capable of changing the situation. Focusing on future losses that may or may not occur only makes the present more difficult to manage.

Many life experiences involve loss. As such, loss is not always major events such as death or divorce but can encompass many different types of situations. Possible losses include the following concerns for the self or others:

• loss of life
• loss of a way of life or quality of life
• loss of health
• loss of friendships
• loss of love
• loss of money
• loss of a job
• loss of reputation
• loss of pleasurable experiences
• loss of abilities
• loss of independence
• loss of tranquility
• loss of social agreement

Why do people believe they need to worry?

1) To be emotionally prepared. Sometimes people believe that focusing on negative outcomes helps prevent those outcomes from occurring or can reduce the impact of the outcomes by “decreasing guilt, avoiding disappointment, or provid(ing) distraction from thinking about things that are even worse (Freeston et al, 1994).” Although people may believe worrying will make the future feared outcome less painful, that does not typically occur. Instead of reducing future suffering, worrying only makes the present more painful.

2) To show concern. Some people worry to show they care about others. Instead, however, worrying often leads to more negative interactions than positive ones. The worry can easily become demands upon others rather than compassion. “I worry about your health. Maybe you need to...”

3) To solve problems. In a way, it is accurate that worrying seems to help solve problems. However, by its nature worry is unproductive and produces anxiety which interferes with clear thinking about problems. It is more accurate to say worrying prevents the solving of problems by keeping a person so focused on possible negative outcomes that the individual doesn't attend to positive problem-solving.

How to examine unproductive worry

1) Is the loss likely to occur? Frequently, people worry about situations that may not be likely. By doing so, they are already feeling the loss as if it had occurred. In a way, they are grieving something that may or may not occur in the future.

2) Is the concern important? Frequently, people will say “yes” to this question but upon further inquiry may determine that it really is not important. Questions such as “How much will this affect my life?” or "Will I be reasonably able to cope with it?" can help determine the importance of the concern.

3) Is the situation causing the worry controllable? A first step to managing worry is to determine if you can do anything in the present to address the problem. If something can be done, then take the steps to resolve the problem instead of worrying about it.

Techniques to manage worry.

1) Active problem-solving. Is there anything I can do about this problem? If yes, then focus on action. Identify steps you can take to reduce the probability of the outcome you are concerned about.

2) Thought stopping. Recognize when you are engaged in unproductive worry and firmly tell yourself to stop. Or, snap a rubber band on your wrist whenever you have a worry thought to train yourself to reduce the thoughts (also known as aversive conditioning). Read more about thought stopping technique.

3) Challenge the worry. If nothing can be done or if the risk is low, then focus on changing the thought process. “I don't know this will occur. In fact, the odds of it occurring are low.” Or, “Even though this is a possibility, focusing on the negative can make it worse.” Engaging in worrying can create self-fulfilling prophecies which can lead to negative outcomes. For example, if you believe there's nothing you can do to reduce negative health consequences you are more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors.

4) Focus on relaxation. Using mindfulness or relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety. An anxious physical state promotes worry. The more physically relaxed a person is, the more difficult it is to worry.

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