Excel At Life--Dedicated to the Pursuit of Excellence in Life, Relationships, Sports and Career
Excel At Life logo

Excel At Life



Cognitive Diary Examples

Passive-Aggressive Q&A







Goal Setting








CBT Jealousy Depression Relationships Conflict Self-efficacy Happiness Goal-setting Motivation Wellness Sport Psych

Popular Articles

Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Happiness is An Attitude

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?

Popular Audios

Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

PsychNotes Index

More PsychNotes: Performance, Success and Goal Attainment

Life is Like...Planning a New Vegetable Garden
by Monica A. Frank, PhD

tomatoes Even though I'm thoroughly acquainted with suburban gardening, I know that when I plant my vegetable garden in a rural area I am likely to encounter different problems. Some of those problems are obvious and some are yet unknown.

“How do we grow anything in this rocky soil?”

“We can make a raised bed and purchase top soil.”

“With a raised bed we need to make it easy to reach all the plants.”

“I hear that planting marigolds around it will help keep rabbits away.”

“But what about all these squirrels, deer, and groundhogs? They love tomatoes, too.”

“Maybe we'll have to fence it.”

“Do you think that Jimsonweed out in the field will attract hornworms to or away from the tomatoes?”

“I don't know.”

As my husband and I talked about the possible issues, we came to the conclusion “We just have to plant it and see what happens. Then we can fix the problems as they occur.” Maybe we'll be sharing our first harvest with the local wildlife. But until we actually try it out we're not sure what problems we'll face.

In life we are often faced with new challenges. Maybe it's wanting a new job or to start a business. Or it could be household projects such as building a deck or wallpapering a room. Or maybe a self-improvement project such as improving self-esteem or eating healthier. Whatever it may be, often when people are faced with something new they want to figure out the complete solution ahead of time. Sometimes they even get so caught up in the “what ifs” they never get started.

You can ask questions and do the research. But eventually, you just need to do it and fix the problems that arise.

curved line