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Excel At Life--Dedicated to the Pursuit of Excellence in Life, Relationships, Sports and Career





CBT

Jealousy

Depression

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Conflict

Self-efficacy

Happiness

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Motivation

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Sport Psych

Martial Arts



POPULAR ARTICLES

Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

Conflict in the Workplace

Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic

Promoting Healthy Behavior Change

10 Common Errors in CBT

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy and Impact on Relationships

For Women Only: How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams

What to Do When Your Partner's Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Relationship

Making Attributions for a Healthier Attitude

Happiness is An Attitude

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

The Effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Anxiety Disorders

Co-Dependency: An Issue of Control

The Pillars of the Self-Concept: Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?

POPULAR AUDIOS

Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Meadow Relaxation

Rainy Autumn Morning

Energizing Audios

Quick Stress Relief

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles





Kindle Books by Dr. Monica Frank





RECENT ARTICLES

Are You Passive Aggressive and Want to Change?

When Your Loved One Refuses Help

The Porcupine Effect: Pushing Others Away When You Want to Connect

What if You Considered Other Peoples' Views?

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

5 Common Microaggressions Against Those With Mental Illness

What to Expect from Mindfulness-based Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (MCBT) When You Have Depression and Anxiety

Does Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Lack Compassion? It Depends Upon the Therapist

When Needs Come Into Conflict

What to Do When Anger Hurts Those You Love

A Brief Primer On the Biology of Stress and How CBT Can Help

50 Tools for Panic and Anxiety

Coping With Change: Psychological Flexibility

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Ending a Bad Relationship

I'm Depressed. I'm Overwhelmed. Where Do I Start?



NEW AUDIOS

Hot Springs Relaxation

5 Methods to Managing Anger

Panic Assistance While Driving

Autogenic Relaxation Training

Rainbow Sandbox Mindfulness

Mindfulness Training

Riding a Horse Across the Plains

Cityscape Mindfulness

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

The Great Desert Mindfulness

Tropical Garden Mindfulness

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Probability and OCD

Choosing Happiness

Magic Bubbles for Children

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Cloud Castles for Children

Hot Air Balloon Motivation

Day of Fishing Mindfulness

Audio Version of Article: Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

All Audio Articles

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Risk and Planning for Success

If you use these audios, please support their development. Just $1 for each audio you use could greatly help with creating more audios!





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Risk and Planning for Success

This audio discusses obstacles to success. In particular, it examines ways of thinking about risk that can interfere with success and points out the importance of planning to create a calculated risk that is more likely to lead to success. About 8 minutes.

As with all the cognitive assistance audios, the more you listen to this audio, the more it creates a pathway in your brain related to success rather than focused on negativity. This audio can assist with a variety of goals whether athletic performance, weight loss, or career focus.

Transcript: Risk and Planning for Success

Success in life is based on taking risks. The most successful people in life have also made the most mistakes because they take more risks. They are willing to try something new, something unproven. They are willing to experiment. And they are willing to fail. Because they don't consider failure a disaster. Instead, they consider failure an opportunity to learn. A failed experiment tells them what did not work which provides information regarding how to achieve success.

If you want to be successful in your life, you need to be willing to take risks. Of course, these need to be calculated risks. A risk, in and of itself, does not lead to success. In fact, without evaluating the potential of the risk, the risk may be more likely to have negative outcomes. Which is why many people avoid risk. They don't understand that successful risk-taking involves calculation and planning. You need to determine whether the risk has the potential to achieve what you want. You need to assess the cost of the risk and the consequences of the risk if it fails and determine if it is worthwhile for you.

Every one has a different gauge for this. You don't have to assess risk in the same way someone else does because the outcome is something YOU have to live with. Just because someone else is okay with risking their fortune or even their life does not mean that you have to do the same. You need to assess what outcome you are okay with.

Risk does not have to be a major undertaking. It can be just stepping outside of YOUR comfort zone. It can be trying something different, something you have always wanted to but didn't for fear of the outcome. It is the willingness to desire something and pursue it.

In fact, the fear of taking any risk, of trying anything different, often shuts down desire. A person comes to believe that they really don't want anything because they have learned they can't have it, so why even bother thinking about it? People learn to not desire, to not want anything.

But that is the first step of taking a risk. Desire. Wanting something. For some people, desire itself has become a risk—the risk of disappointment. However, it is important to see desire as an opportunity and worth the risk of disappointment. You may or may not be able to have what you want. But by wanting it, by dreaming about it, by imagining the possibilities, you can take the first steps towards it.

So instead of saying “That isn't possible anyway” you can say “Let me just imagine what it might take.” Allow yourself to fully immerse in the dream. Once you visualize it, them you can ask yourself “What will it take to get there?” At this point you might not have all the information you need, so you might need to obtain information. How can you get this information? Who do you need to talk to? Obtaining the information may even involve risk for some people because this could be outside their comfort zone. However, keep in mind that knowledge only provides you with possibilities. You still haven't made the decision to proceed. The information helps you calculate the risk.

Once you have all the information you need, you will see the steps to achieve what you want. If you don't see those steps, there still may be gaps in the information. You may need to fill in those gaps by obtaining more information until you can clearly see the steps.

When you do have the steps, don't automatically dismiss your ability because some of the later steps may seem beyond what you are capable. Look at the first steps. Ask yourself “Can I do this first step?” and ask yourself “If I follow the plan, will it prepare me to do the things I can't do right now?” If the answer is “no” it may be that you need additional information and other steps to your plan. You want to develop the plan until you can say “All I need to concern myself with is the step I need to take today. Each step will prepare me for the next step.”

About now you might be thinking “Where is the risk? This seems to be all planning.” Which is the point I am making. By developing a detailed well-informed doable plan, you are minimizing risk. That is what is meant by calculated risk. This doesn't mean that there won't be any mistakes or failures along the way, but it improves the chances for success. Also, when errors occur, often it just means that you adjust the plan based on what you learned from the mistake rather than quit the plan entirely.

You also might be thinking “This seems like a lot of work!” Again, you are right. The romanticized version of success being due to luck is inaccurate. The belief that success is due to being in the right place at the right time is not true. Success comes from making sure that you are in the right place at the right time—it comes from making your own luck by being prepared.

If you want to be successful, you want to create the belief that you CAN be successful. The best way to do this is to create a plan for your success. The more detailed the plan, the more doable it becomes. The plan allows you to be able to say to yourself “I CAN do that!” From there, if just means taking the next step in your plan.




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