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Sport Psych


Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

Conflict in the Workplace

Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

Promoting Healthy Behavior Change

10 Common Errors in CBT

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy and Impact on Relationships

For Women Only: How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams

What to Do When Your Partner's Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Relationship

Making Attributions for a Healthier Attitude

Happiness is An Attitude

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

The Effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Anxiety Disorders

Co-Dependency: An Issue of Control

The Pillars of the Self-Concept: Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?


Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Meadow Relaxation

Rainy Autumn Morning

Energizing Audios

Quick Stress Relief

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

Kindle Books by Dr. Monica Frank


Emotion Training: What is it and How Does it Work?

How You Can Be More Resistant to Workplace Bullying

Are You Passive Aggressive and Want to Change?

When Your Loved One Refuses Help

The Porcupine Effect: Pushing Others Away When You Want to Connect

What if You Considered Other Peoples' Views?

5 Common Microaggressions Against Those With Mental Illness

What to Expect from Mindfulness-based Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (MCBT) When You Have Depression and Anxiety

Does Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Lack Compassion? It Depends Upon the Therapist

When Needs Come Into Conflict

What to Do When Anger Hurts Those You Love

A Brief Primer On the Biology of Stress and How CBT Can Help

50 Tools for Panic and Anxiety

Coping With Change: Psychological Flexibility

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Ending a Bad Relationship

I'm Depressed. I'm Overwhelmed. Where Do I Start?


Building Blocks Emotion Training

Hot Springs Relaxation

5 Methods to Managing Anger

Panic Assistance While Driving

Autogenic Relaxation Training

Rainbow Sandbox Mindfulness

Mindfulness Training

Riding a Horse Across the Plains

Cityscape Mindfulness

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

The Great Desert Mindfulness

Tropical Garden Mindfulness

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Probability and OCD

Choosing Happiness

Magic Bubbles for Children

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Cloud Castles for Children

Hot Air Balloon Motivation

All Audio Articles

PsychNotes February 2014

by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.


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February 26, 2014


How do you spend extra income? Do you spend it on acquiring things? Or do you spend it on experiences? Researcher, Leaf Van Boven (2005) suggests that how money is spent can influence our happiness. In particular, money spent on acquiring material items tends to be associated with greater dissatisfaction with one's life whereas money spent on experiences is related to a more positive sense of well-being.

Several reasons may explain this difference:
1) Experiences provide opportunity for positive evaluation. When you have experiences they can live on in your memory. Over time, you are likely to enjoy and talk about the good experiences again and again. Even the bad experiences can become an interesting story to tell which increases the positive associations.

2) Experiences are less likely to have negative comparisons. When you purchase something there is a tendency to compare to others. Someone else may have a bigger house or they bought their car cheaper. This comparison often leads to dissatisfaction and a tendency to want more material items to prove self-worth.

3) Experiences improve social relationships. Many experiences involve other people so they have a direct positive effect on relationships. Even solitary experiences can improve relationships through sharing the memory and stories with other people.

However, it is also possible that people who have a low sense of self-worth are more likely to purchase things as an easy “fix” to try to feel better about themselves. The research is not clear if a person who tends to spend money on material possessions would increase their self-worth if they spent on experiences instead.

How do you want to spend your money? On a river raft float or a picture of a river? On a dinner party with friends or a new appliance? On a day at the zoo with your family or a lounge chair?

Van Boven, L. (2005). Experientialism, Materialism, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Review of General Psychology, 9, 132–142. DOI: 10.1037/1089-2680.9.2.132

February 15, 2014


Rule 5: Dream the Dreams of Fools
(read more...)

Dream the dreams of fools

February 12, 2014

New Cognitive Diary Training Example: JEALOUS OF WIFE TALKING TO ANOTHER MAN

EVENT: My wife was talking to another man and touched him on the arm. I questioned her after about her behavior and liking him.

EMOTIONS: jealous, angry, hostile

DISTRESS RATING: 8—high level of distress

THOUGHTS: “She likes him. What if she wants him and leaves me? I can't compete with him. Other women have cheated on me. I can't trust her.”

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of being jealous, angry, and hostile?


February 9, 2014


Rule 4: Make Your Share of Mistakes
(read more...)

Make Your Share of Mistakes

February 7, 2014 The last 8 cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) tools, Exposure Methods, are discussed in the last installment of this article: read about the methods of imaginal coping exposures, imaginal exposure, coping exposures, mistake practice, track and reduce, interoceptive deconditioning, flooding exposure, and paradoxically creating anxiety.

The entire article includes 50 CBT tools for panic and anxiety which are divided into several categories: general skills, initial relaxation training, initial cognitive restructuring, advanced mindfulness training, advanced cognitive restructuring, and exposure treatment.

February 2, 2014

New Passive Aggressive Example: SARCASTIC EX

Question:I wrote a Facebook status about my part time job (cashier, retail), how I spent the day making bouquets, how fun it was and maybe I should change my part time work to Florist. I also hold a B.A. in Graphic Design and am currently in training for web design for my career. An ex who used to mock me for not finding something in my field immediately after graduation commented on my status with "I think Florist goes quite well with your degree..." When I called him out on how rude his statement was he flipped it around saying he was trying to be nice and actually serious and that I was being "so dramatic and overreacting." It made me question how I felt for a second but friends and family members with no insight to the situation fully agreed that when they saw the comment they took it as dripping with sarcasm and rude. Needless to say I messaged him directly confronting the issue. Then when he continued to place blame on me and spew more hurtful words I removed him from Facebook.


February 1, 2014

New Cognitive Diary Training Example: TOO DEPRESSED TO CALL

EVENT: My friend has left several messages for me about going to lunch.

EMOTIONS: overwhelmed, embarrassed, unworthy

DISTRESS RATING: 8—high level of distress

THOUGHTS: “My depression is so bad I just don't feel like being social. But I should call my friend. She will think I am a horrible person for not returning her call. I am so lazy and weak that I can't do a simple thing like calling my friend.”
CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of being overwhelmed, embarrassed, and unworthy?



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