PsychNotes August 2013
by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
Clinical and Sport Psychologist

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August 30, 2013 Excel At Life is pleased that Cognitive Diary CBT Self-Help has been selected by HealthLine.com as one of the top apps to help those with eating disorders.

HealthLine.com states: "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a powerful technique for changing behavior. It can be useful for dealing with eating disorders. The Cognitive Diary CBT Self-Help app applies CBT to help with feelings of stress, anxiety, and irrational thinking.

The app addresses self-control problems and relationship issues that often accompany eating disorders. Keep track of events that stress or upset you and rate the strength of your emotional reactions. You can also access articles that correspond to your problem areas. Make sure to consult a health professional if you’re considering this app."

August 29, 2013 The following is part of a series of short mindfulness practice exercises to help train your brain to be more mindful or present focus. They are meant to be used frequently throughout the day. This one can be helpful with learning mindful eating which increases satisfaction and reduces over-eating.

August 28, 2013 The following is part of a series of short mindfulness practice exercises to help train your brain to be more mindful or present focus. They are meant to be used frequently throughout the day.

August 24, 2013 Excel At Life is pleased to have three apps selected by Healthline.com among the best apps of 2013 for anxiety: Stop Panic and Anxiety Self-Help, Qi Gong Meditation Relaxation, and Worry Box--Anxiety Self-Help.

August 23, 2013 EVENT: My husband wants me to attend a work event with him but I don't want to. I don't know anyone there that well and really don't enjoy it. He said I didn't have to go but I know he wants me to.

EMOTIONS: conflicted, annoyed

DISTRESS RATING: 7—feeling distressed, less in control

THOUGHTS: “I should go to the event because I want to make him happy. He will be upset with me if I'm not there to support him. Why should I have to go? He doesn't do things that are important to me. Last week he didn't go to my family dinner with me--he should have known how important it was to me.”

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of conflicted and annoyed?

VIEW ANSWER

August 21, 2013 Excel At Life is pleased to have two apps selected by Healthline.com among the best depression apps of 2013: Depression CBT Self-Help Guide and Happy Habits: Choose Happiness.

August 17, 2013 "...People don't change their thinking just because they are told to think differently...Changing your thinking is learning a new skill in the same way you learn a physical skill..."

August 15, 2013 EVENT: I was angry about a situation at work. When I came home I told my wife I needed to be alone and went to my office. She followed me to my office asking questions. She wouldn't leave me alone and I exploded at her yelling at her to leave me alone.

EMOTIONS: anger, shame

DISTRESS RATING: 7—feeling distressed, less in control

THOUGHTS: “I think she was deliberately trying to aggravate me. She knew I needed to be alone. I didn't want to take it out on her. That's why I went to my office. I'm such a jerk. She didn't deserve to be yelled at. I need to control myself.”

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of anger and shame?

VIEW ANSWER

August 13, 2013 " ...we are only confronted with the issue of forgiveness because someone has hurt us...to regain our equilibrium, to be at peace again, we must process the emotions and resolve the situation."

August 9, 2013
Frequently over the years of my practice I've had new clients who recently left bad relationships and want to prevent a recurrence of the same scenario. However, two common obstacles too often occur, both of which are related to difficulty handling grief and loss.

The first obstacle is related to finalizing the relationship. Often, although the relationship is over, there is a period of returning to the former partner and leaving the relationship again and again until they are finally convinced that the partner won't change.

The second obstacle is when meeting a new person and seeing the "red flags" they are in denial of the message of those red flags. They ignore the warning signals due to a desperate need to be in a relationship. More important to them is the need to be wanted that the need to be in a healthy relationship. READ MORE

August 8, 2013 Too often young people are told when trying to pursue a career of interest: "You can't do that!" or "You will never get a job!" Yet, if a person is talented and interested in a certain field, they are more likely to be successful. Frequently, being too practical and doing what they are told they "should" do prevents success.

If we examined all the U.S. college graduates who currently are not working, I suspect that the majority of them did not develop a plan based on achieving their own sense of identity before or during college. As a result, they either graduated with a general degree or a degree in a field they were "supposed" to pursue. It is doubtful they were following their passion.

Parents may inadvertently thwart the pursuit of a passion by nudging towards or even insisting upon certain career choices. The identity development process in young adulthood creates fear in many parents because if REQUIRES the questioning of everything the child has been taught so that the young adult can create his/her own path. Although that path may include some of what the child has been taught, the process of developing it is a time of crisis and even rejection of parental teachings. This is fearful to parents who have tried to control their child's life so as to prevent failure and unhappiness

Unfortunately, however, such control is more likely to lead to failure and unhappiness than prevent it. Young adults need the opportunity to discover their passion and develop their own identity, not one that is chosen for them.

August 6, 2013 EVENT: I asked my husband if he wanted to go out this weekend for a dinner and a movie and he answered “I don't care.”

EMOTIONS: disappointment, hurt

DISTRESS RATING: 6—feeling bad

THOUGHTS: “He's not showing any excitement about going out with me so he must not really want to. He probably has other things he would rather do. Maybe he's not attracted to me. He must not love me the way he used to. What a jerk!”

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of disappointment and hurt?

VIEW ANSWER