SUGGESTION 42: LISTEN TO LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION

Creating an attitude of loving kindness towards all things helps you to feel more content and at peace. A common obstacle to happiness is negative attitudes towards others. These attitudes may create a self-fulfilling prophecy by expecting negative reactions from others, treating others according to this expectation, and then getting a negative response.

If you experience this problem, you need to change this negative attitude for your sake. You are hurting yourself with this attitude because your negativity only draws negativity or avoidance from others rather than support and encouragement.

One way of changing this attitude is the Loving Kindness Meditation from Buddhist psychology which uses the principles of Buddhism but is not a religious practice. This meditation has you focus in a positive way towards others and towards yourself. The more you develop this attitude you are able to be more at peace which creates the conditions for happiness.

SUGGESTION 43: LISTEN TO THE COMPASSION MEDITATION

Happy people tend to have a great deal of compassion for others. As they do not see others as adversaries, they tend to feel deeply for others' misfortune.

Happiness has been found to be associated with compassion for others. Unhappy people tend to be focused on their own suffering and to not be as concerned about other people. If you have this style, this attitude will present as being uncaring or self-centered to others which has the effect of others not being as sympathetic towards you. As a result, instead of getting the compassion and concern you need from others, you get negativity and avoidance.

Many people think that the way to get the compassion from others is to demand it by talking more about their problems or complaining about the lack of sympathy. However, you are more likely to get what you need by developing a more compassionate and caring attitude towards others first.

The Compassion Mediation audio helps you to do this. Listening to it daily allows you to develop a different attitude. The Compassion Meditation is a more advanced meditation from Buddhist psychology. It is best to be familiar with the Loving Kindness Meditation before using this meditation.

SUGGESTION 44: REDUCE SUBSTANCE ABUSE

As previously stated, happy people use emotions appropriately. Therefore, they do not avoid emotions by using substances, but confront problems directly. An important condition for happiness is healthy lifestyle practices. Many people use substances as an artificial means to create happiness. Substances refers to food, alcohol or drugs (even prescription drugs used inappropriately). How often do you hear people say "I unwind with a drink" or "I'm stressed. I need some chocolate."

Overusing these substances leads to an unhealthy balance in the body. Focus on reducing or replacing the reliance on substances. Use other means to help you cope with life stress.

The recommended healthy daily amount of alcohol is two drinks for a man and one drink for a woman. If you are exceeding this amount you may be using alcohol as an artificial means to feel better. Use the other methods found on this website to help you create conditions to find true well-being.

Even caffeine can be a substance that can create problems. Although caffeine in small doses is not harmful or likely to cause this negative cycle, higher doses are almost always a problem. Although it can vary with different people, generally 300mg. or less a day shouldn't cause problems. When a person reaches 1000mg a day, they can have heart palpitations, agitation, and muscular tension. To put the dosage in perspective, an 8 ounce cup of coffee is 100-150mg., 8 ounces of tea is about 25mg., and the same amount of soda is about 40mg. WARNING: If you decide to reduce your caffeine intake, do it gradually. Suddenly withdrawing from caffeine can lead to severe withdrawal effects similar to have a bad flu for a week or so.

If you are using other drugs to cope with stress, you may need assistance to assess your situation and determine what you need to do.

Many people have found that certain foods can lead to a temporary elevation of mood. However, using foods for this purpose is likely to lead to unhealthy eating behaviors which tend to increase stress and negative mood in the long-term.

SUGGESTION 45: CHANGE A CATASTROPHE TO AN INCONVENIENCE

Approaching problems as catastrophes assures increased negativity and feelings of being overwhelmed. A common obstacle to happiness is the tendency for some people generally, and for many people under stress conditions, to view every problem that occurs as a catastrophe. This usually leads to increased feelings of being overwhelmed. It is important to put problems into perspective so that you can cope better.

Most things in life, if not life and death situations, are inconveniences. The more you can view a problem as an inconvenience rather than a catastrophe, you will be better able to cope with it. Changing your attitude about a problem can change the degree of stress the problem causes.

Read the article Catastrophe? Or, Inconvenience? If you have difficulty thinking in this way, you might find the Cognitive Diary exercises to be helpful. You can write about situations and determine ways to think differently about them. READ MORE: page 13