Methods to Use With Passive-aggressive People

Method 7. Reward desired behavior

When you start ignoring or confronting the PA behavior, it becomes easier to reward desired behavior. The more you reward the behavior you want to see, the more likely it will continue, and hopefully, replace the PA behavior. If the PA person learns that direct communication is more likely to get results, then they may become more direct. This method is most effective with those who are unintentionally PA or who are PA for self-protective reasons.

For instance, if the person makes a direct rather than PA statement, reward it by responding to it quickly and positively. “I'm so glad you reminded me! I'll get right to it.” Or, when they do something to be helpful without the attached negativity, thank them! Notice appropriate behavior and try to be responsive to it when you can.

Next: Determine how and when a PA response can be effectively used.