Excel At Life--Dedicated to the Pursuit of Excellence in Life, Relationships, Sports and Career
Excel At Life logo

Excel At Life



Cognitive Diary Examples

Passive-Aggressive Q&A







Goal Setting








CBT Jealousy Depression Relationships Conflict Self-efficacy Happiness Goal-setting Motivation Wellness Sport Psych

Popular Articles

Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Happiness is An Attitude

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?

Popular Audios

Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People
Method 6. Consequences to behavior
by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist

Methods to Use With Passive-aggressive People

Method 6. Consequences to behavior

Another way of responding to PA behavior is through consequences. For instance, if you determine that the person is not receptive or if they are malicious, walk away. Don't give them the reward of being drawn into their PA game.

Sometimes it may not be possible to completely walk away, in which case you need to set limits. Do not be shy to set these limits clearly and loudly “Stop!” or “I'm not going to discuss this.” Many PA people, especially the malicious ones, count on you to be “too” nice. Instead, being firm can sometimes stop their behavior.

Another way to set limits when someone's PA behavior interferes with something you are doing is to stop doing it. For example, if you ask for help doing the laundry and your family member responds in a PA manner: don't do their laundry. Or, when someone is trying to get attention through PA behavior: don't give them attention.

Next: Learn how to use reward to increase desired behavior and reduce PA behavior.