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Sport Psych


Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

Conflict in the Workplace

Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

Promoting Healthy Behavior Change

10 Common Errors in CBT

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy and Impact on Relationships

For Women Only: How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams

What to Do When Your Partner's Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Relationship

Making Attributions for a Healthier Attitude

Happiness is An Attitude

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

The Effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Anxiety Disorders

Co-Dependency: An Issue of Control

The Pillars of the Self-Concept: Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?


Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Meadow Relaxation

Rainy Autumn Morning

Energizing Audios

Quick Stress Relief

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

Kindle Books by Dr. Monica Frank


Why You Get Anxious When You Don't Want To

Why People Feel Grief at the Loss of an Abusive Spouse or Parent

“Are You Depressed?”: Understanding Diagnosis and Treatment

15 Coping Statements for Panic and Anxiety

Beyond Tolerating Emotions: Becoming Comfortable with Discomfort

Emotion Training: What is it and How Does it Work?

How You Can Be More Resistant to Workplace Bullying

Are You Passive Aggressive and Want to Change?

When Your Loved One Refuses Help

The Porcupine Effect: Pushing Others Away When You Want to Connect

What if You Considered Other Peoples' Views?

5 Common Microaggressions Against Those With Mental Illness

What to Expect from Mindfulness-based Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (MCBT) When You Have Depression and Anxiety

Does Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Lack Compassion? It Depends Upon the Therapist

When Needs Come Into Conflict

What to Do When Anger Hurts Those You Love

A Brief Primer On the Biology of Stress and How CBT Can Help

50 Tools for Panic and Anxiety

Coping With Change: Psychological Flexibility

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Ending a Bad Relationship

I'm Depressed. I'm Overwhelmed. Where Do I Start?


Building Blocks Emotion Training

Hot Springs Relaxation

5 Methods to Managing Anger

Panic Assistance While Driving

Autogenic Relaxation Training

Rainbow Sandbox Mindfulness

Mindfulness Training

Riding a Horse Across the Plains

Cityscape Mindfulness

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

The Great Desert Mindfulness

Tropical Garden Mindfulness

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Probability and OCD

Choosing Happiness

Magic Bubbles for Children

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Cloud Castles for Children

Hot Air Balloon Motivation

All Audio Articles

Cognitive Diary Example


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The following is an example to help learn how to identify and change irrational thinking. It is best to read the articles defining the irrational styles of thinking prior to trying to identifying the styles in the example. It uses the format of the COGNITIVE DIARY CBT SELF-HELP app. Read: Understanding and Using the Cognitive Diary.

What If My Co-workers Find Out I Have an Anxiety Disorder?

EVENT: I need to take a leave of absence from work.

EMOTIONS: dread, humiliation, helpless

DISTRESS RATING: 8--High level of distress

THOUGHTS: “I'm having problems with my depression and anxiety which is interfering with work. I need to take a leave of absence for treatment. What will my co-workers think of me if they find out why I'm not at work? They'll either think I'm faking it to take time off work or they'll think I am pathetic because I am anxious and depressed. Either way they won't treat me the same and they might be talking about me behind my back. I am so weak and ashamed that I can't control my problems like other people do.”

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE IRRATIONAL THINKING IN THIS EXAMPLE? There are at least 3 irrational beliefs.

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE THINKING? What is another way of thinking about the situation that won't cause the feelings of dread, humiliation, helplessness?

The Cognitive Diary CBT Self-Help app helps you to determine some ways to challenge the irrational thinking. Once you have done that, it is important to read the rational challenges frequently until they automatically come to mind rather than the irrational thinking.


Irrational Beliefs:
1) Mind-reading Others. In this situation, the person is making an assumption about what co-workers might think. There may not be evidence for the conclusion that others will think he/she is faking or weak. Unless there is clear evidence such as how co-workers have behaved in the past, it is possible that co-workers won't be thinking negatively about the individual. Many people have anxiety or depression themselves and may understand what the individual is experiencing. Therefore, it is possible that co-workers will not be negatively assessing this employee.

2) Negative Evaluation of Self/Others. Given that this person is negatively evaluating the self, he or she is more likely to negatively evaluate the opinions of others. This individual is labeling him/herself as weak and is feeling ashamed. As a result, this person tends to expect that others will have a similar opinion and is expecting the worst from others. It is important to recognize that a self-assessment is not always the view of others. It is possible that co-workers could be understanding and supportive.

3) Shoulds. This individual is placing a demand on him/herself regarding handling the anxiety and depression. Specifically, the demand involves a comparison to others and an expectation of being in control. It is not always possible to control events, illnesses, or injuries that occur. Depression and anxiety disorders, as mental illnesses, are not different in that aspect. However, this individual is taking a leave of absence to seek treatment which is a positive step to be commended. This person needs to access him/herself based on what is controllable rather than on what is not. Having a problem is not controllable whereas what we do about a problem is controllable.

How Can This Thinking Be Changed?
"I don't know that other people will be thinking negatively about me. It is also possible that they will be supportive and understanding of the situation. Also, if I'm not ashamed and feeling weak, other people may be less likely to view me that way. And if they do, it is because they are mean-spirited, lack empathy, or lack information about anxiety disorders. So what if people talk behind my back? That doesn't mean it is true. I don't need to focus on those people because I'm sure there will be some who are understanding and supportive. I need to see the positive in myself no matter what other people might think."

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Questions and Comments

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