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What is a life script? Each of us has a set of beliefs about ourselves. Initially, these beliefs develop in childhood based upon how others view us and treat us. Some people view their life script as unchangeable: “I can't help it! It's who I am.” However, other people edit their life scripts. Sometimes they need to learn how to edit it (such as what you are doing now) and sometimes they edit it naturally. I remember as a child that I kept a list titled, “Never say or do this to your child.” I didn't realize at the time but I was creating a life script. I was making decisions about the type of parent I wanted to be. You are more likely to achieve what you want in your life by taking an active role in editing your life script rather than accepting without evaluation what you were taught about yourself.
Developing better self-esteem requires editing. However, to edit a life script, it is necessary to first write the life script. This step will be difficult because it means writing down your current view of yourself. If your self-esteem is low, then this script may be quite negative. Many people will be tempted to skip this step as it can be very painful to see in black and white our view of ourselves. Others might want to not write it down thinking that they are quite aware of it. But writing it is necessary because there is something very powerful about an actual edit—crossing out and replacing words or adding different beliefs. If you do this on a computer, I would suggest you use the strikethrough feature when changing something and highlighting any additions. Later on, you can create a clean copy. But initially, the visual impact of the changes can be helpful in reinforcing those changes.
Also, keep in mind no matter how difficult or painful this step may be you will be editing this life script as you complete all of the steps. The discomfort you feel right now in writing it will change as you take the following steps. But it is necessary to write it down so that you can clearly see the beliefs you have about yourself and identify the areas of focus.
At the same time you may be pleasantly surprised to learn you also have positive beliefs about yourself included in your life script. Self-esteem is not a solitary attribute. Instead, it consists of many different aspects of our self-concept. Therefore, writing your life script can also be used to reinforce in your mind your positive qualities and beliefs about yourself.
Writing a life script means to consider all aspects of yourself. The following are some areas to examine and some questions to ask of yourself. There are no right or wrong answers. These questions are just to help you honestly examine your self-concept. This list of questions is not an exhaustive list but is to help you get started with writing your life script.
Competence.
Intimate Relationships.
Social.
Appearance.
Competitive.
Spiritual.
Creative.
General.
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Dr. Monica Frank
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Beyond Tolerating Emotions: Becoming Comfortable with Discomfort
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When Your Loved One Refuses Help
Building Blocks Emotion Training