Excel At Life--Dedicated to the Pursuit of Excellence in Life, Relationships, Sports and Career
Excel At Life logo

Excel At Life



Cognitive Diary Examples

Passive-Aggressive Q&A







Goal Setting








CBT Jealousy Depression Relationships Conflict Self-efficacy Happiness Goal-setting Motivation Wellness Sport Psych

Popular Articles

Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Happiness is An Attitude

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?

Popular Audios

Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem--page 10
by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.

Step 10. Say "Hello"

Hello in different languages

Acting confident leads to feeling confident. One reason for this is other people more readily respond which increases positive interactions. Many people with low self-esteem wait for others to make the first overture. As discussed in the previous step, they don't want to risk rejection. However, other people don't always approach first for a variety of reasons that has nothing to do with you. Some of them may have low self-esteem as well or social anxiety. Some of them may have poor social skills. Some of them may be distracted and not paying attention to what's around them. Therefore, waiting for others often leads to nothing.

Instead, make it a habit to say “hello” to people. Frequently, when people with low self-esteem try this step, they report that others were non-responsive. Usually the lack of response is because the other person didn't hear them or know they were being addressed. So be sure to speak up. Don't just mumble “hi.” If you know their name, use the name. Make sure you are heard: “Hello, Bob. How are you today?” Simply saying “hello” to others is likely to lead to more social interaction. When you have positive connections with others you are more likely to feel good about yourself. However, at this point, these steps are focused on increasing positive interpersonal interaction which continues to base your self-concept on the external: how others act towards you which can't always be controlled in your favor. In later steps, we will focus on developing a more stable, internalized self-concept that doesn't depend upon others' reactions. Changing how you interact with others is a first step towards that.


Previous        Next

curved line