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Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

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The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

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7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

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Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

The Porcupine Effect: Pushing Others Away When You Want to Connect

by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.


  • Introduction
    What is the "Porcupine Effect" and how can it impact your life?

  • The Plight of the Prickly Porcupine
    Describes the "Porcupine Effect": how the distress of rejection can cause the perception of rejection which may result in being rejected.

  • When Rejection is an Illusion
    Describes how perceived rejection can be wrong. Discusses the four desires for relationships and when those desires can lead to inaccurate feelings of rejection.

  • Redefining Rejection
    Discusses ways to think of perceived rejection differently and how to think about actual rejection. Describes some methods to help change thinking about rejection.

  • Desire for Love vs. Demand for Romantic Love
    Identifies how romanticized versions of love can lead to feelings of rejection and how to think differently about love relationships.

  • When You Know You Are a Porcupine
    Discusses rules for relationships when you are sensitive to rejection. Identifies ways to change your behavior so your sensitivity doesn't impact your relationships.

  • When People Are Mean
    Reasons for Perception of Meanness Inventory--helps you to determine why other people's behavior is not a rejection of you but is unintentional or due to their personal problems.