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Sport Psych


Crazy-Makers: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive People

Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

When You Have Been Betrayed

Struggling to Forgive: An Inability to Grieve

Happy Habits: 50 Suggestions

The Secret of Happiness: Let It Find You (But Make the Effort)

Excellence vs. Perfection

Depression is Not Sadness

Conflict in the Workplace

Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic

20 Steps to Better Self-Esteem

7 Rules and 8 Methods for Responding to Passive-aggressive People

Promoting Healthy Behavior Change

10 Common Errors in CBT

What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage

Rejection Sensitivity, Irrational Jealousy and Impact on Relationships

For Women Only: How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams

What to Do When Your Partner's Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Relationship

Making Attributions for a Healthier Attitude

Happiness is An Attitude

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Guide to How to Set Achieveable Goals

The Effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Anxiety Disorders

Co-Dependency: An Issue of Control

The Pillars of the Self-Concept: Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Catastrophe? Or Inconvenience?


Panic Assistance

Motivational Audios

Mindfulness Training

Rational Thinking

Relaxation for Children

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

Loving Kindness Meditation

Self-Esteem Exercise

Meadow Relaxation

Rainy Autumn Morning

Energizing Audios

Quick Stress Relief

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Choosing Happiness

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Audio Version of Article: Crazy-Makers: Passive-Aggressive People

Audio Version of Article: Why Are People Mean? Don't Take It Personally!

Audio Version of Article: Happiness Is An Attitude

All Audio Articles

Kindle Books by Dr. Monica Frank


Why You Get Anxious When You Don't Want To

Why People Feel Grief at the Loss of an Abusive Spouse or Parent

“Are You Depressed?”: Understanding Diagnosis and Treatment

15 Coping Statements for Panic and Anxiety

Beyond Tolerating Emotions: Becoming Comfortable with Discomfort

Emotion Training: What is it and How Does it Work?

How You Can Be More Resistant to Workplace Bullying

Are You Passive Aggressive and Want to Change?

When Your Loved One Refuses Help

The Porcupine Effect: Pushing Others Away When You Want to Connect

What if You Considered Other Peoples' Views?

5 Common Microaggressions Against Those With Mental Illness

What to Expect from Mindfulness-based Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (MCBT) When You Have Depression and Anxiety

Does Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Lack Compassion? It Depends Upon the Therapist

When Needs Come Into Conflict

What to Do When Anger Hurts Those You Love

A Brief Primer On the Biology of Stress and How CBT Can Help

50 Tools for Panic and Anxiety

Coping With Change: Psychological Flexibility

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Ending a Bad Relationship

I'm Depressed. I'm Overwhelmed. Where Do I Start?


Building Blocks Emotion Training

Hot Springs Relaxation

5 Methods to Managing Anger

Panic Assistance While Driving

Autogenic Relaxation Training

Rainbow Sandbox Mindfulness

Mindfulness Training

Riding a Horse Across the Plains

Cityscape Mindfulness

Change Yourself--Don't Wait for the World to Change

The Great Desert Mindfulness

Tropical Garden Mindfulness

Thinking Your Way to a Healthy Weight

Lies You Were Told

Probability and OCD

Choosing Happiness

Magic Bubbles for Children

Lotus Flower Relaxation

Cloud Castles for Children

Hot Air Balloon Motivation

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Your score is: 0

You have low rejection sensitivity. Your social behavior probably is not based upon what other people may think of you or how they might react to you. You do not tend to worry about rejection. You may also tend to believe that others will be receptive towards you and unlikely to reject your requests. You may tend to have a great deal of social self-confidence.

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Your score is for personal information only. It is not meant as a professional evaluation.

Information regarding the Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire can be found at:

Downey G. & Feldman, S. (1996). Implications of Rejection Sensitivity for Intimate Relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 1327-1343.

Feldman, S. & Downey, G. (1994). Rejection sensitivity as a mediator of the impact of childhood exposure to family violence on adult attachment behavior. Development and Psychopathology, 6, 231-247.

"Individuals who are rejection-sensitive are more likely to perceive rejection in situations others may
not interpret as rejection."

by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.

As a child Cynthia's hyperactive behavior often annoyed others. Her teachers frequently reprimanded her in school. The other students called her "stupid" and refused to let her join them in activities. At home, her father criticized her and beat her with a belt whenever her parents received a negative report from school. Due to depression, her mother tended to ignore Cynthia's needs for emotional support and attention. As a result, she grew up expecting rejection from others. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried, all she experienced was rejection.

As an adult she had numerous unsuccessful relationships. She desperately wanted the acceptance to be found in a relationship; however, she perceived her partner's behavior negatively often thinking about how he wasn't as committed to the relationship and that she was just good enough until someone else came along. These thoughts led to hostility toward him and accusations "You don't care about me!" Due to her focus on her worries about losing him she did not focus on his needs and provide him with emotional support. Her partner tried to reassure her and comfort her at first but the constant negativity and hostility drained his ability to respond to her needs.

Jake was physically abused as a child; for seemingly no reason to Jake his alcoholic father became enraged and beat him leaving bruises and welts. These beatings included screaming at Jake about how worthless he was and that no one could possibly ever want him or love him. His mother was rejecting in a more subtle way by tending to blame him for his father's behavior "If you just wouldn't set him off, he wouldn't hurt you."

When Jake developed an intimate relationship as an adult, he perceived his wife's behavior as indicating she was cheating on him. He examined her phone records and questioned her endlessly about calls she made. He didn't allow her to go out socially unless he was present and even then he questioned her about her interest in other men if she talked to someone. His wife could not convince him she was not having an affair. Eventually, his irrational jealousy led to slapping her when she denied his accusations.

What do these two people have in common? They developed rejection sensitivity due to childhood experiences which led to irrational thinking and behavior about their adult relationships. This thinking and behavior often reinforced itself by creating situations in which they were more likely to be rejected.   READ MORE: page 2

Intro to Rejection Sensitivity.--page 1

What is Rejection Sensitivity? and What is Irrational Jealousy?--page 2

How is Rejection Sensititivity Related to Childhood Abuse or Rejection?--page 3

How are Rejection Sensitivity, Self-Esteem and Social Anxiety Related?--page 4

How does Expectation of Rejection Affect Perception of Rejection?--page 5

How does Rejection Sensitivity Impact an Intimate Relationship?--page 6

How is Rejection Sensitivity Self-Perpetuating?--page 7

How is Rejection Sensitivity Changed?--page 8


Copyright © 2009 by Monica A. Frank, Ph.D. and  www.excelatlife.com Permission to reprint this article is granted if it includes this entire copyright and link.


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