How Do I Do Deep Meditative Relaxation?
There are numerous methods that can help individuals achieve the same outcome. Below are
several common methods and ways that you can begin your practice.
1) Deep Relaxation
. The best way learn deep relaxation is to listen to a
recorded exercise. You may download
two different free
exercises from this site to begin your practice. The exercises are about 20-25 minutes
long and all you need to do is find a comfortable place to sit or lie down and follow the
instructions. When you are first learning deep relaxation, a common error is to try too
hard to relax which leads to increased tension rather than relaxation. So, don't try torelax but just listen to the exercise. Don't worry if your mind wanders—just allow
yourself to refocus on the exercise.
Over time, the more you practice the relaxation, the better you will be able to experience
the deep relaxation. If you should find yourself becoming bored with the same exercise,
you can vary the imagery by just allowing yourself to create your own imagery. For
instance, if you download from this site, the imagery describes seeing two doors at
the bottom of the staircase and you walk through one door and find yourself in a meadow
in one exercise or in a mountain cabin in the other exercise. Many people ask me what's
behind the second door. The answer is that I don't know because the second door is there
if you want to go through it and create your own pleasant scene.
2) Mindfulness Practice
. The best way to describe mindfulness is when the
brain is focused on the immediate experience rather than on distracting thoughts that are
either irrelevant such as “What am I cooking for dinner tonight?” or may be future-oriented
worries such as “What if I blow it in the presentation tomorrow?” or past-oriented critiques
such as “That was stupid. Why did I say that?” In fact, mindfulness takes us away from
these types of demands or criticisms. The present-oriented focus tends to be more attractive
to the brain even if the present moment isn't particularly pleasant. Therefore, as we practice
mindfulness the brain will choose to be in the state of mindfulness more frequently.
For example, if I'm running late in the morning I can try to speed up my morning routine
and focus on demanding thoughts “I'm late! I've got to hurry!.” However, I've found that
this approach not only doesn't seem to make me any faster, but it stresses me and is likely
to slow me down because the lack of focus causes me to misplace things or drop things and I
end up spinning in circles. However, a mindful approach is to acknowledge the demanding
thoughts without getting caught up in them. Instead, I can tell myself “Just focus on what
you're doing. Don't worry about the time.” As a result, I'm less stressed and probably got
ready as quickly as I was able.
Most of us experience the state of mindfulness naturally at times. For instance, if you've
ever watched a beautiful sunset for 10-15 minutes and noticed the changing colors and felt
connected to the world around you without distracting thoughts, you were probably in a mindful
state. Or, for some people, they may find themselves being very focused or mindful when engaged
in certain types of work or activities. In fact, in sports, when they describe being in “the
zone” they are referring to a mindful state in which the athlete is focused only on the activity
itself and responds automatically.
So if we can experience this state naturally, why is it important to cultivate mindfulness
through practice. The first reason is that many people do not experience enough mindfulness
in their day to make a difference. The second reason is that for those who do experience
plenty of mindfulness, the mindfulness may be contained in such a way that it's not useful
to them throughout the day. What I mean is someone who may be mindful while fishing but as
soon as they are away from the lake, they become agitated and irritable with others because
they don't take the mindfulness state with them.
Therefore, the practice of mindfulness allows us to experience mindfulness throughout our
daily routine and can be especially important during tasks that we may dislike. For instance,
I've never liked doing dishes and would usually be thinking about how much I hated doing dishes
and being rushed so I could get away from them which made the experience more unpleasant.
One day I found myself spontaneously in a mindful state while doing dishes. I was focused
on the act of wiping the dishes, feeling the water run over my hands, and the movement of my
muscles has I lifted each plate. At the end I thought “Wow, that was really pleasant.” This
was before I had ever learned about mindfulness as a practice, but I discovered that my mental
state had more impact upon my experience than the actual task that I needed to do.
A simple method I like to use to help people get started with mindfulness practice is to tell
yourself “For the next couple of minutes I'm going to focus on being mindful.” The nice thing
about this exercise is that you can do it anytime, anywhere so the common excuse of “I don't
have time to relax” isn't applicable. When you are in a state of mindfulness you are actually
more aware and able to engage in tasks so you can do this while driving, while having a conversation,
while waiting in line, while working, or anything else you do in the course of your day. All you
do is take a couple of minutes and focus completely on your immediate experience, what you see,
hear, taste, smell, or feel.
The reason I tell people to start with a couple minutes is because the practice of mindfulness
can be quite difficult at first. Within 5-10 seconds of starting the exercise you are likely
to be distracted by your usual future-oriented demands/ worries or your past-oriented critiques.
That's okay. In fact, that's even desired because it gives you the opportunity to practice the
second (and I think, the most important) part of mindfulness which is learning how to acknowledge
your thoughts but refocus on your immediate experience. It's sort of saying to yourself although
you don't have to actually use words, “That's okay, but right now I'm focusing on this.”
Initially, you may have to do that many times during a two minute practice. That's okay and
normal. Try not to get frustrated because frustration interferes with mindfulness since you
are now thinking of you frustration rather than the object of your focus. Instead, very gently
refocus your mind.
Although you only do this for a couple of minutes at a time, I encourage people to practice the
technique many times throughout the day. The more you practice, the more your brain will become
receptive and accustomed to mindfulness and you will notice your brain returning to a mindful
state on its own. Therefore, the idea is not about achieving mindfulness, but just practicing
it and then letting your brain do the rest on its own.
3) Qi Gong
. I have found that many people do well with a more active form of
relaxation. The ancient Chinese practice of Tai Chi assists people in achieving a deep state
of relaxation through movement combined with breathing and focus. However, it takes many years
for people to become sufficiently skilled at Tai Chi to begin to obtain benefits. Therefore, I
encourage beginners to practice Qi Gong (many different spellings: Qi Chong, Qigong, Chi Kung) which is
using simple Tai Chi movements to enter a state of deep relaxation. You may watch examples of
these movements and then practice each day or you may follow along with the instructions for a
deep meditative Qi Gong exercise that I present on my
Do I Have to Practice Everyday?
To obtain the most benefit from deep meditative relaxation daily practice is ideal.
However, any practice that you do will benefit you. I often recommend that people
do some of all the different styles of relaxation, especially at first, to find what works
best for you and what fits best into your lifestyle. The nice thing about these methods is
that you obtain immediate rewards in the form of relaxation, calmness, a sense of well-being.
However, the long-term rewards of practice as described above are even more beneficial.
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