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Question: I am the youngest of five brothers. Throughout my life I had crying fits to get what I wanted: bicycles, minibikes, motorcycles, cars. Even though I got what I wanted, I was ridiculed at family holiday gatherings: "He always gets what he wants!" My parents would give in to me but then I paid for it by them being angry with me about it. I thought to myself, "Why did Mom and Dad give in to me in the first place" and then make me pay emotionally?
Response: This example is sort of the other side of the coin from the previous example of "Child Holding Family Emotionnally Hostage" as this one shows the view of the child. Frequently, when children get their way in a passive-aggressive family it is at a cost. In this way, the parents can disavow themselves of any responsibility and place it on the children. In other words, they can believe they are being good parents while the child is being a brat: "He always gets what he wants!" What they don't realize is that if a child always gets his (or her) way, it is because the parents aren't effective parents. The job of a parent is to teach a child how to behave in an adult world.Copyright © 2013 by Excel At Life, LLC.
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