UNDERSTANDING AND HANDLING ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE.

1) Physical Arousal or Tension.  Hopefully, some of the mystery surrounding why conflict occurs at work has been removed at this point. However, why each of us personally becomes angry may be a bit unclear. In a sense, we are all like cans of soda. If we get shaken or agitated and pop our top, we explode. In this case, what shakes us up is physical arousal. This may come about from being hungry, hurried, stuck in traffic, having a sore back, etc. You may know you are aroused by your rapid heartbeat, cold hands, muscle tightness, or shallow, rapid breathing. Try to become familiar with how you experience physical arousal.

Some of the following techniques can be useful in reducing the physical arousal:

1) Take a few minutes to slow down and deepen your breathing.

2) Tense and release your muscles.

3) Find a quiet room and spend a few minutes imagining a peaceful scene.

4) Exercise (e.g. walk on your lunch hour or break).

2) Cognitive Triggers.  The second component which is necessary for anger is known as a trigger thought. Just as pulling the tab of a shaken soda can will cause it to explode, these thoughts are sufficient to “set us off” once we’re aroused. In most cases, these thoughts fall into two categories “shoulds” and “blamers”. In the case of shoulds, we may think that things at work “should” be more equitable, or that a coworker “should” get paid back for what they did. In the case of blamers, we may view others as the cause of our current difficulties.

In either case, these thoughts are irrational because they demand behavior of others that is flawless or which is in accord with only our wishes. When we allow these thoughts to go unchallenged, they can trigger our anger towards others. As a result, it is important to work on recognizing these irrational thoughts and challenge them.

Listed below are a couple of ideas to help you with this:

1) Write out your thoughts when you are angry and ask yourself if they are rational.

2) Talk to a trusted friend about your thoughts and solicit their feedback.

3) Conflict Situations.  Of course, some conflicts at work simply require you to confront an individual. The most effective way for you to meet the needs you have is to use what is known as an “assertive” approach, rather than an aggressive or passive approach. Being assertive does require effort and practice, but most find it to be extremely helpful in addressing their needs.

Below are some points you may find helpful when you practice and eventually confront an individual:

1) Think ahead about what it is you want to address.

2) Set a time to talk with the individual.

3) Deal with one and only one topic at a time.

4) Be brief and specific.

5) Phrase your complaint as a specific behavior which the person can recognize and work toward changing (e.g. “I would like you to arrive to work on time,” rather than, “I would like you to be more conscientious.”)

In the end it can often seem easier to simply avoid conflict than confront it. However, this approach will not satisfy the needs you have to make your workplace a productive and pleasant environment. By better understanding how conflict and anger arise, and practicing handling such conflict in an assertive way, it can become far less intimidating and be an aspect of work you can learn to manage rather than have it manage you.

Introduction.--page 1

What causes conflict at work?--page 2

Understanding and handling anger in the workplace.--page 3